Losing someone or something you hold dear to you is cuts deep. The wondering if you could have done something or something more nags at you constantly. The grief grips you like a vice and squeezes your heart.
My little lady Mary. Mary came to live with us ten years ago. My daughter rescued her, brought her back to health and eventually because of numerous reasons she ended up in our home. She quickly became part of the family and stole our hearts. We have often said when she came to us she won the lottery!
She was tough and stubborn! A mind of her own is an understatement! She would literally drag us around the block in record time leaving us gasping for breath!
She had a million quirks. Her own Mary idiosyncrasies. We loved every one of them. Once she was comfortable with us, it didn't take long for her to be my TV buddy. She'd hop up in my chair with me and snuggle under the quilt. This girl loved to burrow and be wrapped in quilts!
For ten years she was my constant companion. My loyal friend. That one constant that kept me on track. She put up with all my quilting adventures. And when she was ready for me to give it a rest...she let me know! She would walk in circles around me, pawing at my leg, often unplugging my foot pedal or jumping at my side until I quit. She knew when enough was enough for her and me!
She listened to me talk to myself. She listened to me sing songs about her and call her all kinds of 'cute' names. Mary Muffin took it all in stride! I found myself singing about her yesterday...and I'm sure it will happen again.
The memories are there. The constant reminders will be seen at every corner for a long, long time.
She started her decline in health six months ago. He little mind was going bonkers and her little body was letting her down. The last couple months were the hardest as she required 24/7 supervision.
If you knew Mary you knew she wasn't one to like a hug, or to be held or coddled. The last months were different. It was like she needed that contact and I was more than happy to grab her up and love on her.
The decision to let her be at peace and let her go was excruciating. I struggled with that. I clung to her, hugged her, cried with her...and eventually came to the decision that it was time.
With heavy hearts we let her go with dignity, love, humanity and surrounded by the people who loved her with every ounce of our being.
While our hearts are broken, we take comfort in knowing she is better now. She has her spunk back and her wings!
I'll remember her forever. I'll keep those memories forever. And I'll miss her forever.
Sweet Dreams Mary Christmas!
My goodness you have had a rough week - you need double hugs! I am so sorry for you and your family
ReplyDeleteI read this with tears in my eyes and heart... so sad... i wish you and everyone who loved her much strenght. She lived a good life at your home, i' m sure she was very happy....
ReplyDeleteYou have been through a very rough few weeks. More thoughts and love heading your way, Jayne.
ReplyDeleteYou have been through a very tough week Making that decision is so hard to think of them and you. Make it earlier this year too and it still hurts. Tears will flow at unexpected time when the memories pop into your head. She was very lucky to have you and you to have her.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie. <3 Many, many hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry Jayne for your loss of Mary. It is so so so hard to let them go even when we know deep down that we should (speaking from too much experience). Wishing you peace and comfort.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. For those of us at home for much of the day, when the hustle and bustle of kids in the house is gone and our time feels so quiet... the companionship a dog gives is so important and valued by us. I felt like it was the end of an era. That my nest was truly empty... but despite it all the sun will rise each morning and as time passes the hurt becomes more livable. Buy some fabric you are lusting after and start a new quilt that you will treasure and keep as a kind reminder.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss. Pets are special in so many ways. I lost my Freddie 2 years ago after 14 wonderful years, and 2 years later your story and words make it so "fresh" for me, and I cried, but in a good way. You will cherish your loving memories of your Mary forever.
ReplyDeleteOh now you've got tears in my eyes. Such a nice tribute to her.
ReplyDeleteSo, so sorry for us your loss, but as dog lovers it is our responsibility to give them the love and care they need and then to unselfishly let them go when it's time. You did that beautifully! It's a journey many of us have taken and will take again because the rewards and loving memories are immeasurable. I could hardly believe your pictures! We have a little 11 lb. rescue mix that looks and sounds just like your Mary. Such a gift!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Many hugs coming your way,
ReplyDeleteThe love between pet and owner is unconditional. That's what makes it so hard when they are gone. I hope you can keep all the special happy thoughts of her foremost in your mind.
ReplyDeleteI'm heartbroken for you with these two huge losses. Hugs to you my friend.
ReplyDeleteSuch a hard time for you at present. Remember all the good times with your dear brother and beloved dog, it won't make the grief go away, but it does bring a tearful smile to you. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Mary! Words fail me, I sat here staring at the photos thinking about you and her. Warm hugs.
ReplyDelete-Soma xx
Oh no, Jayne. This has to be a difficult time for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Much sadness in your heart today. We all relate with this type of pain. Bitter-sweet are the memories we hold in our hearts, of those we loved dear. The Lord bless you in this time o sorrow.
ReplyDeleteJust think.. there are two more stars in the sky. My love at this time for your sorrow.
ReplyDeleteLove comes in many forms , equally valid against each other . I still miss our dog who died when I was at university many moons ago . I am sorry for your loss
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you and your family. It sounds like you have some wonderful memories of both your dog and your brother to hold onto when you miss them. Blessings to you during this time.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Mary. May she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet tribute post for a special friend.
ReplyDeleteDear Jayne, I'm so sorry that in this difficult time, you had to say good buy to your sweet friend. She was surely very special and beautiful girl. x Teje
ReplyDeleteHow sad! And such heart-breaking timing. Bless you friend, during these tough times...
ReplyDeleteTears are streaming down my cheeks. I don't know you ... but I know what you are feeling. My wee Molly would sit under my cutting table, sometimes surrounded in fabric! Mary DID win the lottery. How lucky was she did have had such a wonderful life! Hold your memories close.
ReplyDeleteJayne, I am so sorry. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful companion. Oh, how I wish our fur friends could stay with us longer. Sending lots of love your way.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for your loss. I, too, just lost a long time furry companion, so I know your pain in the very depths of my heart and soul. May you find peace in the memories, and bless you for giving Mary the very best ten years!
ReplyDeleteOh this just brought tears to my eyes. Mary looks just like my Lucy, and sounds like her too, with her body just breaking down. I got Lucy as a puppy and had her for 14 years before having to put her down when she could no longer stand up. The kindest thing to do, and the most heartbreaking. Was Mary by chance a black mouth cur?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your losses. My oldest brother died of a heart attack or stroke three years ago. I miss him dearly. He was a good husband and father and such a good brother to all of us. I wish I could call him up to just say hello. Thank you for sharing your quilts and your family.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Jayne, not only because you lost your dear Mary but also that it comes at a time when you need her most. In loving our pets we open ourselves up to heartache, but life would be so much poorer without them.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to hear of your losses both your brother and constant companion Mary. It must be such a shock and so difficult at this time. Be kind to yourself as you deal with the new reality.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteJust catching up on posts. Oh Jayne, please feel my hugs for you. Losing a pet is very hard. We too had to put our cocker to rest many years ago but still remember him dearly. She will definitely be in your heart forever. I love the pic's of her, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Jayne! I'm so sorry for the loss of such a dear sweet friend and family member. Sending hugs and healing to you and your family at this time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your dual loss with us. I've taken this long to write because your Mary reminds me so of my granddogter Sydney--similar in physique though more golden tan in color, and similar quirks and habits!--who is gone from our family since last Spring. I know she's better off, but I/we miss her so! She was always so excited to have GrandBitch come to visit, and wildly expressed her delight through her favorite squeaky toy! And follow-up snuggles on the couch. One year ago I too lost a wonderful brother, my youngest, who is daily remembered and forever missed. I revisited my joy in him through your writing about your Mike. Again, thank you for your expressive writing, and I'm so, so sorry for your losses.
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